PURPLE Crying: Gentle Guidance for New Parents in Orange County

By Susy Caracas | Founder of Baby N Doula Care

Your baby is fed, changed, and wrapped in your love, yet the crying continues. You may find yourself wondering, ‘Why does my newborn cry so much?’ or worrying that there is something you have missed. These moments can feel exhausting and emotional, especially when nothing seems to help. Understanding PURPLE Crying can give new parents reassurance, help them respond to their baby's needs with greater confidence, and make it easier to recognize when it is time to contact the pediatrician.

As the founder of Baby N Doula Care, a Certified Postpartum Doula, Advanced Newborn Care Specialist, and Certified Lactation Educator, I have supported many families throughout Southern California as they move through these tender and sometimes overwhelming early weeks. My experience has taught me that parents need more than information; they need compassionate guidance, practical support, and the reassurance that they are not failing when their baby cannot be easily soothed. My goal is to help families in Orange County, where I am based, understand what may be happening while reminding them that they deserve care and support, too.

PURPLE Crying describes a pattern of increased crying that many healthy babies experience during their early months. It is also the name of a parent education program, the Period of PURPLE Crying®, developed by the National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome. Its purpose is to help caregivers understand crying and respond safely when it becomes overwhelming. It is not a diagnosis, and the word “purple” does not mean that a baby's skin should turn purple.

Each letter offers a little insight. P stands for Peak of crying, because crying often

increases in the early weeks before gradually easing. U means Unexpected: it may begin or end without an obvious reason. R means Resists soothing, when your usual comforts do not seem to help. The second P means Pain-like face, because a crying baby may look distressed even when no painful condition is found. L means Long-lasting, and E means Evening, when crying may feel especially intense. A pain-like expression should still be taken seriously if something seems wrong.

This phase often becomes noticeable around two weeks, is more intense around the second month, and improves over the following months, commonly between three and five months. Still, babies do not follow one exact calendar. Research reviewing infant crying across many studies found considerable variation and no universal six-week peak. The reassuring message is that crying usually changes as babies grow. The practical message is to pay attention to your own baby, rather than compare every evening with someone else's experience.

Knowing this can ease some of the self-doubt that comes with caring for a newborn. Research on the PURPLE Crying program found that education improved parents' understanding of crying and some safe coping behaviors. It was not a treatment that made babies stop crying. For me, that distinction matters: good education can help you feel more prepared, even when the evening is still difficult.

You may wonder whether this is the same as colic. The terms overlap, but they serve different purposes. Colic describes excessive crying in an otherwise healthy baby after other causes have been considered; PURPLE Crying helps families understand common crying patterns and how to cope. Neither means we should automatically blame gas, reflux, or something a breastfeeding parent ate. If your baby's excessive crying has not been evaluated, start with your pediatrician. You can seek reassurance and still take your concerns seriously.

When I think about supporting a crying baby, I start with a gentle check of the basics. Are there hunger cues? Is the diaper uncomfortable? Could clothing be too warm or tight? Does your baby seem tired or unwell? For most healthy, full-term newborns, feeding should respond to hunger and fullness cues. Follow any specific feeding plan your pediatrician has given you, especially for a premature baby or one with medical needs. A baby who seems hungry should not have to wait simply because you suspect PURPLE Crying. Evening cluster feeding can add another layer. Some breastfed babies want several feeds close together, so having just eaten does not always mean they are finished. If you are unsure about feeding, reach out for help with latch, milk transfer, or bottle-feeding technique. Your baby's weight gain and diaper output also help the healthcare team assess whether they are getting enough. Questions about feeding deserve patient, individualized attention.

Once those needs have been considered, comfort can be simple. Hold your baby close while you are fully awake. Try gentle rocking, a soft voice, or a quieter room. A pacifier may help when feeding needs have been met. I encourage parents to slow down and notice what their baby seems to tolerate, rather than feel pressured to try every suggestion at once. Some babies settle quickly; others continue crying while being lovingly held. Your care still matters when it does not bring immediate quiet.

Keep sleep safety at the center of the plan. Put your baby on their back in a crib or bassinet with a firm, flat, level mattress and a fitted sheet. Keep the sleep space free of pillows, loose blankets, toys, and positioners. If your baby falls asleep in a swing, move them to a safe sleep surface. And if you feel yourself getting sleepy while holding your baby, put them down safely. Falling asleep together on a sofa or armchair is especially dangerous.

You may also come across drops, supplements, or remedies promising to end the crying. I understand why a quick answer feels appealing when everyone is tired. Herbal and over-the-counter colic products should not be assumed to be proven treatments. Research on certain probiotics suggests possible benefits for some breastfed babies with colic, but that does not mean every product will help. Ask your pediatrician before starting supplements, changing formula, or restricting your own diet.

Now, a word for the parent doing all of this: you need care, too. If you feel overwhelmed or frustrated, place your baby on their back in the empty crib or bassinet and step away for a few minutes. Breathe slowly, get some water, or call someone you trust. Check on your baby and return to holding when you feel calm; ask another safe caregiver to take over if needed. Taking a brief safety pause is a loving, protective choice. Never shake, hit, throw, or jerk a baby.                                                   

A little planning can make those moments easier. Decide with your partner or support person who can take a turn during the evening. Keep a trusted person's number nearby, and make sure everyone caring for your baby understands the same safety plan. If you fear you might hurt your baby, put them down safely and seek immediate help. If shaking or a serious injury may have happened, seek emergency care right away, even if your baby initially seems well.

Some crying needs medical attention rather than more soothing. A baby younger than three months with a rectal temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher needs immediate medical evaluation. Contact your pediatrician promptly for poor feeding, unusual vomiting, pain when touched or moved, a sudden change in behavior, or nonstop crying lasting more than two hours despite comforting. Do not wait for a time limit if your baby looks ill or you feel something is wrong. Call 911 if your baby is unresponsive, very weak, has severe breathing difficulty, or has blue or gray lips or face. These are not signs to explain away as PURPLE Crying. Your observations matter, and you never need to apologize for asking whether your baby should be seen.

For less urgent concerns, a simple note about crying, feeds, sleep, and wet diapers can help you talk with the pediatrician. You do not need a perfect record. Share what you have noticed and how you are coping. If the hardest part is exhaustion, say so. Supporting the caregiver belongs in the conversation, too.

For families looking for a postpartum doula in Orange County, CA, support can bring

both practical help and a reassuring presence into these early weeks. At Baby N Doula Care, we offer personalized newborn care and postpartum support to families in Irvine, Newport Beach, and surrounding Orange County communities. Daytime or overnight newborn care can create opportunities for parents to rest, ask questions, and feel supported while learning their baby's needs. Our care complements your pediatrician's guidance and respects your family's feeding goals and preferences.

If you are preparing for your baby's arrival or finding these early weeks harder than you expected, we would be honored to learn how we can support your family. You do not have to figure out every cry by yourself. Your baby needs loving care, and you deserve someone who remembers to care for you, too.