The 10 Questions New Parents Ask Me Most (After 18+ Years Supporting Newborns)

By Susy Caracas, Certified Newborn Care Specialist, Certified Postpartum Doula & Certified Lactation Educator

Becoming a parent is one of the most beautiful experiences in life—but let's be honest...

It can also feel incredibly overwhelming.

After more than 18 years caring for newborns and supporting hundreds of families throughout Orange County, Newport Beach, Irvine, Laguna Beach, Costa Mesa, and surrounding communities, I've realized something:

Almost every new family asks me many of the same questions.

The good news?

You're not doing anything wrong.

Every parent wonders if they're feeding enough, if their baby is sleeping "normally," or if they're somehow missing something important.

So today I want to answer the questions I hear most often in my work as a Newborn Care Specialist and Postpartum Doula.

If you've asked yourself any of these... you're in good company.

1. "Is my baby eating enough?"

This is probably the number one question I hear. During the first weeks, babies don't follow a schedule—they follow their biological needs. Instead of watching the clock, I encourage parents to watch their baby.

Some signs your baby is feeding well include:

✓ Regular wet diapers

✓ Steady weight gain

✓ Relaxed body after feeding

✓ Good skin color

✓ Periods of contentment between feedings

Whether you're breastfeeding, bottle feeding, pumping, or combining methods, your baby's growth—not the number of ounces alone—is what matters most.

2. "Should I wake my newborn to eat?"

It depends.

Healthy newborns often need to be awakened every 2–3 hours until they've regained their birth weight or your pediatrician recommends otherwise.

Once your baby is growing well, feedings usually become more responsive to your baby's natural hunger cues.

This is always a conversation I encourage parents to have with their pediatrician because every baby is unique.

3. "Why does my baby only want to sleep in my arms?"

Because you're their safest place.

Your heartbeat...

Your warmth...

Your smell...

Your voice...

These are the only world they've known for months.

Needing contact is completely normal. The challenge is helping babies gradually become comfortable sleeping safely on a flat sleep surface while still meeting their emotional needs. This balance is one of my favorite things to teach families.

4. "Is it normal for newborns to wake up all night?"

Absolutely.

A newborn's stomach is tiny.

They need frequent feedings.

Their circadian rhythm isn't fully developed.

Night waking is biologically normal.

Instead of trying to make a newborn sleep through the night, my goal is to help families build healthy sleep foundations that make longer stretches possible as their baby develops.

5. "When should we start a bedtime routine?"

Much sooner than most people think. A newborn doesn't understand bedtime. But they do begin recognizing patterns. Simple routines like:

✓ Dimming the lights

✓ Changing into pajamas

✓ Gentle massage

✓ Feeding

✓ White noise

✓ Swaddling (when appropriate)

Help create predictability. These small habits eventually become powerful sleep cues.

6. "How much should my newborn sleep?"

Most newborns sleep between 14–17 hours within a 24-hour period, but that sleep is often broken into short stretches.

Every baby is different.

Some sleep for 45 minutes.

Others sleep for three hours.

Both can be completely normal.

Quality of sleep is often more important than chasing a perfect schedule.

7. "Should I hold my baby every time they cry?"

One of the biggest myths I hear is that you'll "spoil" your newborn.

You won't.

A newborn isn't manipulating you.

They're communicating.

Crying is their only language.

Responding consistently builds trust, supports healthy brain development, and helps your baby feel safe.

As your baby grows, we'll gradually introduce age-appropriate independence—but during the newborn stage, connection matters.

8. "Do I need a strict schedule?"

Not during the newborn stage.

I prefer helping families build flexible routines instead of rigid schedules.

Babies thrive on consistency, but they also deserve the flexibility to grow at their own pace.

Think of routines as gentle structure—not strict rules.

9. "Why does everyone give different advice?"

Because every generation raised babies with the best information available at the time.

Today, we know much more thanks to decades of research.

That's why I always encourage parents to rely on evidence-based recommendations from trusted medical organizations instead of social media trends or outdated advice.

Information changes.

Science evolves.

Our goal is to make decisions using the best evidence available today.

10. "How do I know if I'm doing a good job?"

This question always touches my heart. Because almost every new parent asks it. My answer is always the same:

If you're worrying about whether you're a good parent...

You probably already are.

Good parents ask questions.

They learn.

They seek support.

They show up every day—even when they're exhausted.

Perfection has never been the goal.

Connection is.

One thing I've learned after caring for newborns for nearly two decades is this:

Babies don't need perfect parents.

They need responsive, loving, supported parents.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, unsure, or simply looking for reassurance...

Please know you're not alone.

Need Personalized Newborn Support?

Whether you're preparing for your baby's arrival or already navigating those first precious weeks, having an experienced guide can make all the difference.

As a Certified Newborn Care Specialist, Certified Postpartum Doula, and Certified Lactation Educator, I provide evidence-based support tailored to your family's unique needs, helping you feel confident, informed, and supported every step of the way.

Because every family deserves to begin parenthood with knowledge, encouragement, and compassionate care.